From miles away, so don't bother

I think I stuffed a lot of margarine in this bread I'm eating, the taste overwhelms. Yeaman! So second day in Perlis (I do sound like I've never been here before, which is so not true), apparently not so much things to do, besides lappy? Naah there are tons but the fact that my other two brothers are still in KL, they didn't come with us so that explains my inchoate misery or less dramatically, my incessant boredom. But they come along today with Ayah, I so can't wait. As far as I know, the longest we stayed here (just 'cause or vacay) was 5 days or so.

Moving on, I am uninspired (somebody just please hit me with your story) so I'll be blunt. I can't comprehend of how much more heartbreaks a girl could simply face. And with you making that blinded decision you look to me like a girl longing for more (heartbreaks). You must be new. And I could careless. The damage is done.

I'm already missing you here, and you know better boy ♥

xx

If you wanna get with me,

Officially a Perlis-an from now and 9 days to come. Okay that's a joke. You know which part. Later!

xx

Rushing in and out

What defines mean? I mean, what makes a person mean? Is it the words we say, the actions we play. I don't know. But I'm feeling like I just got hit by a mean wave. Not so huge. Nah not a single impact on my heart, but my head it is. As for me, I'm not a mean human being. I bitch back only if someone messes things up that they really should not at the first place. And it always is so littlest. I'm not big on bothering what's unnecessary. My life's too awesome. I'm beginning to jump into a conclusion. People define things, based on their very own experiences or thoughts, I don't think most people really are rational and realistic when it comes to defining. Which is such an infelicity. Life.

xx

When I start to let my mind speaks,

I don't need to sing when it comes to this (it wouldn't work as it is for anything else) I merely wanna scream my lungs out. 'Cause as for such, I feel envious. Which is so rare. I am envious to the point where I could just shut everything down, or throw things the way I never want it to be. THAT COUPLE RESEMBLANCE US in every way. The boy plays drum, the girl sings, the boy is good looking, the boy is tall, the girl is petite, and blablablablabla. This is sad. Doesn't it? Somehow, my situation was sadder. I should lock my hands from further typing. And somehow, I think I'm better off single for it suits me best. Everyone seems to be in joviality when they know I'm single which is kind of annoying. No, not kind of, it's way worst than an annoyance. Like come on, yeah I know you like it when I'm single but dang it spare feelings a little, poor em. For the people in the know, know I'd handle myself way better when I don't have a boyfriend. They never would define me as single for they know it would not be as a complete truth. That's why they like it when I'm actually "single". I'd have all the fun. Ah see how much my people know me. Sometimes, better than I do. Which is.. so unfair. I have learnt so much that dwelling would just be another taken of times. For God's sake I am okay. It's just, such a waste, if only the feeling was mutual we could be close to them in any seconds. Fate has its own play. I'm living life.

I still haven't decided about the college, the course I wanna end up in yet. It's not that I haven't had a clue, I lost em somewhere. Psychology seems like a dose of fun, but regarding UPU, there's none. Sucks I know. I only am interested in doing foundations. Diploma would be in the list but with such distances. I wanna fly, that's in my plan. But I need scholarships, that'd make things easier. I.. haven't applied any, but I'll get to it as soon as my result comes out. There. Hands tied already. I'm looking forward to more life altering experiences after this. After February that is. Waiting is not one of my best traits and for that I should begin with one.

Sometimes, we just gotta look back for a moment and grasp everything of what we were, that would make open of our eyes, minds and hearts. So long.

xx

Just so you know,

Ever had that ONE particular cake that tasted so good you can't seem to shake away the very last moment you had with it? I had. Just now. I now pronounce the most incredible, the simplest cake ever made, Cake Sense's Original Cheese Cake. It's simple. Just a normal Cheese Cake until you eat it and when you finally  reach to the very end of that cake, the awfsome-ness kills your every sense. Apologies, I'm passionate like that. My brother has been buying it 2 or 3 days a week since I don't know, last month? Anything with Cheese, just throw 'em at me, I'll never pass.

Anyhow, I watched Faster today which was awesome because I had an A+ company with me ♥ , the movie suited my mood and I didn't do any ludicrous thinking or dwelling or reminiscing. I was so.. light-headed. As if healed. I don't know, perhaps I really am. Speaking of which, I have exactly 24 hours and ++ before going to Perlis and so the wedding. Ayah can't stop being anxious about me not packing up just yet because he knows. Packing is a little bit slower than unpacking as for me. I unpack like a pro, mate. Okay enough. I slip somewhere far from inspiring ideas. I get to it sooner.

xx

How you doing?

Put my heart out watching How I Met Your Mother just now. Especially the part where all eyes were on Stella and Ted or as I might wanna call it- the In Car Scene. That was horrific. Purely facile to comprehend Ted's very own heart that time. Must be ruptured. Not to mention the words he said about the waiting part. Stella could easily responded that way because she simply found her THE ONE already. She didn't know what the fuck she was portraying to Ted's situation. I was so freakin' pissed. You see. And I choked when Stella ran to Ted as soon as Tony broke up with her.

Because as for such it did resemblance me a bit. Minus the "as soon as" for it may sound a little too much. This is aptly where I'm going with in this post. I'm clueless now as for what my actions and words may mean to someone in particular. All I ever want is for him to be there for me, as well as what I always know he would but he's too full of ego to realize. Not that I'm complaining. I'm just well.. I don't expect that from him to do such things for me. He's been trying to reach out for me -I haven't let even one of his phone calls answered or even a single text replied. I'm pretty oblivious of what I wanna do right now. I'm still in need of some times, for there's not always times like this. A down time. I embrace this for I embrace life. But to treat him like that after what he's done for me that he indeed listens and supports my every crap but never stands for it for he knows I'd like to be wronged sometimes. He knows me too well and that makes me wrapped in this minor, tiny littlest guilt that would emerge as blossoming flowers soon than I ever know. I need him much I admit but never in that kind of way. A close friend told me to go for it, he said at least I have someone -I flipped over it. I like to take time for what its worth, wound may still be spreading like a burnt house's smokes but may it be in ashes. I don't say I had enough of love or even attempting to portray it somewhere among all words, I really don't. I perhaps merely wanna have a break. From relationship. I may learn to love again but my vision gets a little blurry somewhere.

As for life right this moment, I am far blunt that I am so happy for my friends. They seem to get used to the terms worker or employed teenagers. I'll be chasing you guys in mere months. HEHE. Now, I don't wanna start with any longing, missing stuffs for those are pretty obvious. But at least after all the distraught we might have back then whether our friendships would last or not as school ended, are seemed to be bullshit. We'd be just fine if we stay this way for I always have you guys back no matter what. I'd do mostly what I'm capable of doing, as always. Much love, friends.

There, I shall get going. Don't wanna miss Mean Girls. :]

xx

This post would definitely remarks my second crap post but I can't get over how close they are to some parts of what I've known. Let's called it coincidence.

Libra loves to give people advice and normally has good advice.
This one's pretty obvious, I mean the giving part.

Libra has a wonderful ability to make relationships work.
AYFKM!?

Be sure to treat a Libra fairly, for fairness is their core value.
This one right up there, man.

Libra doesn't really like to make themselves the center of attention.
Nuff said.

Warning: Don't fall in love with a Scorpio-- They will destroy you.
*hands up

xx

“Let’s be friends”

• Do you think I would be able to be friends with someone who broke my heart and had history with? It will never work.

From someone's Tumblr. Factual 101.

xx

Stop me already.

"  You know you can't give me what I need
And even though you mean so much to me
I can wait through everything
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again 
And don't you dare say we can just be friends "

Alright. Apparently, I am still dwelling on it. But that doesn't make me any weaker, soab. 

Anyhow, today and all its worth, was perceptibly dragged. Went out for some textiles shopping you may say, Mumy grabbed the curtain and stuffs she wanted and I grabbed at somnolence dang it I could barely open my eyes yet it was afternoon -.- Blame mewall. HEHE. Shh so there was this lady with her family (looking good y'all) indeed stalked our choice of curtains and me and Mumy were like ...? Come on, there were tons of them there. Talking of some worthy laughed-about. Got something to eat which was the best part besides the conversation.

Mumy: How sekarang?
Me: Dunno, just aten still tak boleh nak make sense out of everything. *the face
Mumy: Kan aten dah agak haritu, few days sebelum tu dah rasa dah kan. Benda benda camni memang
Me: That's exactly! Aten punya instinct ni kan mumy *the face
Mumy: Ha tu macam mak lah *giggles
Me: ROFL

That's just how we roll. LOL. We stepped somewhere near this 'tudung' shop and I was bragging to Mumy how I wanted to change in terms of that but so anxious of sincerity that may still be so littlest, when a lady  (the worker of the shop I assumed) crossed our paths and slipped into our conversation. Blablabla. Approximately a few minutes later;

Me: MUMY WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT
Mumy: Mak dah nak lari dah tadi
Me: ROFL

Imagine, a lady you barely know, a stranger out of a sudden went in front of your face, with your mother next to you, and speech you about wearing a 'tudung'. Not that I was  concentrating,  but I was acting out. You see, that was just inappropriate. LIKE YOU'RE A GOOD SHIT AFTER ALL. *breathe. I say, that was so lucky of her. Be proud. Heh. Considering what she said, at all cost wasn't that gibberish. I applauded her for such stunning ability but she had zero idea of anything. As for now, I ain't gonna prove anything to whom by any chance never will, ever know me. It has always been in my intently plans, and I am working to it. 

Mumy has always been so comprehending, that one's no doubt. She's just truly the best. Moving on, I choked upon Ayah's question just now, just by one second away while I was typing.

Ayah: Ten, ada class kan malam ni?

I'll get on to it, Yah. You'll be 'in the know' soon. Oh and I should reply him this; I don't wanna miss Glee tonight. HEHE. :')

We are approaching our brother's wedding in no time. Time flies doesn't it. I've been stoked about the invitation list but naw not so much now. I'm cutting down some names.

xx

Realistic.

And every time I land on this very much emptied space, I get all wrapped up in an emotional stupor which is kind of abusive, I think? Mostly only if I don't have anything to write, that is. Blogging held pretty much most of my times way back when in 2009, I got this far. HIHI. Anyways, 2011 started in the midst of everything serene, now that it has approaching its second month, I'm in need of keeping my words in my jeans pockets, as if it would fit. Something startling did happened few days ago. Hardcore. Though it is far negligible compare to the road I'm gonna face soon. Future. SPM was over, and trust me life after SPM is bloody awesome but not until you sense the slightest changes ; the ones on everyone's minds before school indeed ended, not until you go through every picture, not until your friends that used to be next to you all the time abruptly gone when you glance to the seat next to you, and a whole lot more. Those moments will corrupt someone who was never appreciative of what she/he had once in for all. Merely saying, not referring to anyone or me neither. Realization always hit us a few seconds late, or perhaps we are merely oblivious of what would come because we never know. Not knowing isn't an access to be all ignorant. Sometimes, what we need might be a little sign and some preparations. 

And I'm off to get ready.

xx

Come Back Kid

 Ah, this already feels worthy.

I seriously have no idea who/what/how made me in such an urge to actually create this new baby right here that I know I'd get hook with. We'd definitely attach. Right. So perhaps I miss blogging so much or merely wanting to cut off privately blogging. HEHE. Frankly, I've been constantly in a run with random people's blogs, Tumblrs and I almost got to the point of nausea how all of them seemed to be so inspiring. Yep, there , of all reasons.Well, with this new baby's existence I hereby wish (may it be granted) that somehow, some way the posts I'm about to publish may inspire anyone at all *hands down.

xx