I would kill to wish this is all a mere dream. Not reality or not in at all form of an expected thing. I don't know. I was and am in two of the most busiest weeks of my life; settling all the stuffs, the bank card, the medical check up, the payment of the fees, the shopping. All is done and truth to be told, I am exhausted. Mentally, physically. Not to mention, I am, of course reluctant of spending a day without seeing my boyfriend and close friends for fear of the so littlest time that all of us are aware of but not prepared of. Sometimes, I gain my absolute strength and think that I would go through this easy. But sometimes, even reminiscing the smallest thing welcomes tears down my cheek ever so willingly. You see, distance does not matter, but the separation does. Nobody comprehends this, until they experience it themselves. I don't know, really. One thing I know is of my intentions. To study, for the future. Nothing else. Whatever comes in the way, for me and for anyone at all, I hope we will go through it and grow stronger from time to time. Adios.
Wednesday, May 18
Wednesday, May 11
Keep calm and pray.
Hi. How you guys doing? I hope you are in a great condition and always blessed. I'm blogging straight from my iTouch so yes, it is a bit complicated than the usual of course, but being me right now, I cannot fight the urge to blog plus with my reluctance to use the laptop for fear it would be harder to think of leaving it for a while when I'm already gone to Perak... Successful reluctance I shall say.
I'm counting days. Mere days to go, to be apart and to leave my family, my best friends, my boyfriend, my close friends, my room, each places I used to know and go here in KL, my house, everything. Yes I know, Perak is nowhere close to the term "far" because others got the offer way farther than mine so I shall be thankful for that. I am. But goodbyes would suck. Big time.
It has been days, I have been crying my heart out every time I reach that point where nothing can calm me down anymore. I am never used of distance with my loved ones. Making things worst, this would be my very first experience of long distance relationship and to be blunt, we are both anxious. But really, not about the distance so much, more to the separation. We've been too close to get away so soon, we've been so good and yes this obviously sadder than anyone could ever imagine. Being apart with that one person you've spent almost everyday with since months ago. Come on...
Nothing more can I say but pray. Pray for the best and always, always look out for each other. But really, I'm freaking out. I can't even think realistically any longer. Please just please, anyone who comes across this blog, this very post and did go through a long distance relationship, or is going through one, leave a comment as you please. I need some opinions and I want to seek out the experiences of others regarding this. Thank you so much if ever anyone be so helpful. Thank you.
xx
I'm counting days. Mere days to go, to be apart and to leave my family, my best friends, my boyfriend, my close friends, my room, each places I used to know and go here in KL, my house, everything. Yes I know, Perak is nowhere close to the term "far" because others got the offer way farther than mine so I shall be thankful for that. I am. But goodbyes would suck. Big time.
It has been days, I have been crying my heart out every time I reach that point where nothing can calm me down anymore. I am never used of distance with my loved ones. Making things worst, this would be my very first experience of long distance relationship and to be blunt, we are both anxious. But really, not about the distance so much, more to the separation. We've been too close to get away so soon, we've been so good and yes this obviously sadder than anyone could ever imagine. Being apart with that one person you've spent almost everyday with since months ago. Come on...
Nothing more can I say but pray. Pray for the best and always, always look out for each other. But really, I'm freaking out. I can't even think realistically any longer. Please just please, anyone who comes across this blog, this very post and did go through a long distance relationship, or is going through one, leave a comment as you please. I need some opinions and I want to seek out the experiences of others regarding this. Thank you so much if ever anyone be so helpful. Thank you.
xx
Sunday, May 8
Keep calm and be grateful.
Apologies for another round of me neglecting my blog. I have been busy and blessed with my life. With my family- now that my third brother, Asyraf finished his Diploma in Civil Engineering already, he is now a part time housewife, alongside Mumy hahaha so cute indeed. My first brother, Hafiz is homesick, that is both cute and somewhat sad, he and my sister are way too far up there in Perlis, but good news is they're going back this week if I am not mistaken. Excited, excited, excited. And my second brother Faiz is approaching his last days of being an intern at Exxon Mobil soon enough before he could realize. Well for Mumy, she has always been the best in everything. Anyways, Happy Mother's Day to all mothers and also to my beloved Mumy, Puan Norhayati Md. Noh. Dad is in Terengganu right now, outstation or that kinda thing. Missing him though.
My friends- they are all doing well and most of them got their asses in universities and colleges. Hehehehehe. So proud of you guys!!! I shall not mention about the growing apart stuffs right now. Don't wanna tear this blog's tears down. My boyfriend.. Hehe sorry I love saying or typing down, or writing that out. We are so good I could not imagine just yet, of being apart from him. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know..........
Moving on....OH OH OH while me, here right now in front of this laptop, writing in my blog past midnight, mulling over the fact that I'm going to UiTM Kampus Sri Iskandar, Perak in two weeks of time. Fourteen days. There is nothing to be considered any longer, I accepted the offer and I'll be studying Estate Management for 3 years. You see, I mentioned before how planning could come off unnecessary but now I finally sense the light. That is, you see I wanted to do something regarding English, Language or anything like that. I wanted to pursue my passion in writing and all those high ambitions and dreams.. I didn't get what I wanted.
Yes, I was down reminiscing my dreams and plans, and how I would excel more if I got the course I know I would ace at. But then, I have to embrace the path I am given though it is somewhat frustrating, we shall live don't we? You can plan all you want, dream as you please, just don't hope or expect too much. These two must come from deep within. I was pretty easy (compare to what I thought of how I would react to that) on accepting the course though I know so little out of it, because as for such perhaps I don't hope much. I have firm trust on the path, perhaps it is always the best that I never saw it coming.
My path, your path, everyone's path are fated. What you got is what you meant to do. So yeah. Registration is on May 22nd. Birthday of my two friends that day is.... Well then here's a big congratulations for those who make it to universities and colleges. We all soon will face the college life and may everything goes well for all of us. Amin. Insya Allah. And for those who didn't make it, believe there are opportunities everywhere coming right at ya. Don't give up. Later mates!
xx
My friends- they are all doing well and most of them got their asses in universities and colleges. Hehehehehe. So proud of you guys!!! I shall not mention about the growing apart stuffs right now. Don't wanna tear this blog's tears down. My boyfriend.. Hehe sorry I love saying or typing down, or writing that out. We are so good I could not imagine just yet, of being apart from him. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know..........
Moving on....OH OH OH while me, here right now in front of this laptop, writing in my blog past midnight, mulling over the fact that I'm going to UiTM Kampus Sri Iskandar, Perak in two weeks of time. Fourteen days. There is nothing to be considered any longer, I accepted the offer and I'll be studying Estate Management for 3 years. You see, I mentioned before how planning could come off unnecessary but now I finally sense the light. That is, you see I wanted to do something regarding English, Language or anything like that. I wanted to pursue my passion in writing and all those high ambitions and dreams.. I didn't get what I wanted.
Yes, I was down reminiscing my dreams and plans, and how I would excel more if I got the course I know I would ace at. But then, I have to embrace the path I am given though it is somewhat frustrating, we shall live don't we? You can plan all you want, dream as you please, just don't hope or expect too much. These two must come from deep within. I was pretty easy (compare to what I thought of how I would react to that) on accepting the course though I know so little out of it, because as for such perhaps I don't hope much. I have firm trust on the path, perhaps it is always the best that I never saw it coming.
My path, your path, everyone's path are fated. What you got is what you meant to do. So yeah. Registration is on May 22nd. Birthday of my two friends that day is.... Well then here's a big congratulations for those who make it to universities and colleges. We all soon will face the college life and may everything goes well for all of us. Amin. Insya Allah. And for those who didn't make it, believe there are opportunities everywhere coming right at ya. Don't give up. Later mates!
xx
Wednesday, May 4
Keep calm and write a love note.
If you think I could go sleeping without talking to you first, then well, you are absolutely wrong. Completely false. Fact is, I am wide awake (little that you may know), always awake before you tell me you are going to sleep. Even then I would stay up cuddling in my bed, wishing you won't come across any nightmares or distraught, wild thoughts at night, you know how terribly bothering they can be. I am always here, when you feel so low, may you be so down I wish I could be there and heal you. I care for you so much that it's insane if you ever thought I don't. Or maybe lesser than you might feel. You become a part of my life, a part of my days, a part of my plans, you are approaching your every goal now, as in to be my everything. I am way too lucky to have you, for us to be mutually together, yet it does not matter anyhow because now we are together, all those so called chase and waiting become those memories we always reminisce randomly. You become a part of me. Stay close, stay strong and we could prove them people wrong. We never choose to be committed, to declare our relationship as a serious one. We no need to prove anyone. Because those are feelings, and only the ones belong could feel them all.
xx
xx
Monday, May 2
Kids.
I love kids. Being around them gives me million various emotions that I find nowhere. It is indescribable. Surrounding myself around them always reminds me how life is great, and Allah is the greatest for creating and allowing such souls and heartbeats to exist on His earth. Kids inspire me, they take me elsewhere, at some point I come to realize of how incredibly powerful them are, they take me by surprise. I love it when they start to ask about something. Anything at all, even the simplest, littlest things as in what clubs was I in when I was in their age? How was school, what did I do when I was in their shoes...
Those questions leave me thousands nostalgia and to be able to share it all with them though little that they may comprehend, makes me somehow, elated. Happy. I feel content. Every time I come across some kids or babies, I think in the back of my mind how will their future be, and I hope and pray that they won't get hurt and their lives would be perfect as if perfect ever existed. I pray they won't go through rough paths and I pray they would stay ever so strong if anything happens. That's how deep this is, I tell you. I have this urge to protect them from harm, even the slightest bit of harm. Sometimes, I even see myself in one of them. I see how that kid was me back then, see how she reflects me on the way she talks and all of that.
Kids are amusing though as annoying as they can be, they still are inspiring. At least, for me.
xx
Those questions leave me thousands nostalgia and to be able to share it all with them though little that they may comprehend, makes me somehow, elated. Happy. I feel content. Every time I come across some kids or babies, I think in the back of my mind how will their future be, and I hope and pray that they won't get hurt and their lives would be perfect as if perfect ever existed. I pray they won't go through rough paths and I pray they would stay ever so strong if anything happens. That's how deep this is, I tell you. I have this urge to protect them from harm, even the slightest bit of harm. Sometimes, I even see myself in one of them. I see how that kid was me back then, see how she reflects me on the way she talks and all of that.
Kids are amusing though as annoying as they can be, they still are inspiring. At least, for me.
xx
Sunday, May 1
Sending loves to hearts
Frankly speaking, I am lacking with any productive ideas right now. I don't wanna go crapping about the whole thing, if you know what I mean and thus start complaining and make it seems like I am having never ending intricate moments in my life once I start writing new post in this blog. Truth is, I'm fine. Better than fine actually. There are only two things bothering me lately and the one that might seem so obvious is for this upcoming May 6th, the day we all know where we would end up in. Yes, I didn't even have any urge to check on Matrix because Physics of mine was below the qualification. I ain't even mad. Congrats to those successful people for getting their firm butts in Matrix. You guys rock.
Me, being me is always forever anxious of my future because I was one that have been planning it since I was so young. Plans are changing as time passes by, that cannot be gainsaid. You see, sometimes planning doesn't work anymore. Everything in life is fated since the day we were born (we all know that, don't we?) but with some prayers and all that, as us (Muslims) believe, it might change our lives and our paths. But to see from other point of views, logical reasoning it is quite true. Planning may come off as unnecessary. May, I tense.
But really, when we talk about this whole thing, it's always back to the individuals. But let me give you an instance. Like falling in love, as for me, I always one who was very careful. While getting to know a guy, I made it clear in the beginning that this should be one of the games I always played, and it would be easy. I made it clear I wanted nothing out of the "ship". But little that I knew, my sight got blurry along the way, I fell. Like I forgot all the clear things I once made up of. You see, I have had no control out of it. It's hilarious to think back of how determine I was to never fall. But then again, you cannot help feelings. And then again, I am only human. Just like you.
Okay so, maybe I am going astray with my instance. HEHEHE
So the fifth month has arrived. May. I hope we all will be filled with boundless happiness for another 30 days. Make everyday counts, guys!
xx
Me, being me is always forever anxious of my future because I was one that have been planning it since I was so young. Plans are changing as time passes by, that cannot be gainsaid. You see, sometimes planning doesn't work anymore. Everything in life is fated since the day we were born (we all know that, don't we?) but with some prayers and all that, as us (Muslims) believe, it might change our lives and our paths. But to see from other point of views, logical reasoning it is quite true. Planning may come off as unnecessary. May, I tense.
But really, when we talk about this whole thing, it's always back to the individuals. But let me give you an instance. Like falling in love, as for me, I always one who was very careful. While getting to know a guy, I made it clear in the beginning that this should be one of the games I always played, and it would be easy. I made it clear I wanted nothing out of the "ship". But little that I knew, my sight got blurry along the way, I fell. Like I forgot all the clear things I once made up of. You see, I have had no control out of it. It's hilarious to think back of how determine I was to never fall. But then again, you cannot help feelings. And then again, I am only human. Just like you.
Okay so, maybe I am going astray with my instance. HEHEHE
So the fifth month has arrived. May. I hope we all will be filled with boundless happiness for another 30 days. Make everyday counts, guys!
xx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)