Sometimes, I wonder how it feels like to be lonely. You know, like the thorough loneliness that is so tactile from deep within, that seeps through your veins, all day every day, all night. The kind of lonesomeness that would make people go crazy, as if they could not live anymore, that they need somebody to indeed care for them because they are close to affirmation that no one cares. Or maybe just the lonely feeling after break ups or whatnots. Seriously wonder at its finest right now. Because I hardly feel it (not that I want to). Truth to be told. Not that I never had a one time or two of the slightest loneliness going through my heart sometimes at nights or days but that feeling never lasted, ever. There always will be something along the way that saves me, saves my doubt, catches me right back on track, lifts me up to stand again, and seriously like just now I was certain I was approaching that feeling somewhere deep enough and then a lot of things came in my way and... I am me again. It was mere minutes, I would swear. But one thing for sure, I would attempt to isolate myself at times of carelessness and boredom. Which is so absurd and mean. Hmmmm. Hahaha. K ignore me. Then again, Allah never leaves me all eating up of loneliness, and so I am grateful for that.
OK this is actually a note-to-self, I guess? Will post something better later.
xx
