I wanna see him. I swear I do. I wanna see his face, I wanna see his smile, I wanna listen to his voice, talking about life, staring deep into my eyes, not expecting me to comprehend at all of all of his comforting words because he wants to keep talking, he wants me to know. But most of all, I wanna see him, different than how he was the last time I saw him. I wanna see "friendship" in his eyes, not "love". I wanna see how he has moved on throughout the days since we have been apart, I wanna see "happiness" all over his face and his smile, the genuine ones that would lighten my guilt towards him. Because the last time that I saw him, the look on his face, was not something my memory could live in for a longer time than it already is. The look on his face, that forced smile, just to make sure I could not ever read anything; he was so good with it, he thought he could fool me, but the words that he sent me, I know deep down, were all the truth ever spoken. He seemed so cool in front of me, and only God knew how he felt that time, that whole time I talked about my love life, my happiness, the new guy. I missed him, that cannot be denied, missed him as someone that I looked up to, as a brother. And hopefully, he missed me too. As someone else, not as the one that he once in love with.
xox
